Posted by dane sorensen on March 03, 19100 at 11:56:13:
(this was e-mailed to me from some amigos dominicanos) TRUE STORIES BY ED BUTTS
I have written before about driving in the Dominican Republic, and I know i have been pretty critical of the way drivers here operate their vehicles. Now I must admit that I didn't know what I was talking about. I was writing from the perspective of a person who has done a lot of driving in Canada and the United States, and know the rules of the road in those countries, had mistakenly accepted the myth that the D.R. has official
driving laws, but nobody obeys them. There are rules, but they are not official.They are known, through some
mystic process, only to Dominican driver and foreigners who have beenhere long enough to learn them. Here they are,listed in no particular order of importance.
#1. Use your horn a lot, for any reason or no reason at all. Blast the guy in front of you for stopping for a red light. In a traffic jam, lean on that horn and add all the racket you can to the general confusion.
It won't help one little bit, but you'll have the satisfaction of
> > > >making yourself
> > > > heard (maybe); something like a child throwing
> a tantrum.
> > > >
> > > >#2 Always drive at top speed. Patience is a
> sign of weakness.
> > > >
> > > >#3. If there is a vehicle in front of you, pass
> it. It doesn't matter
> > if
> > > > you have to go around it, over it, under it,
> or through it; you must
> > > >get in
> > > > front of it. Even if you are a guagua driver
> and you are going to
> > > >pull
> > > > over and stop as soon as you have passed the
> other vehicle.
> > > >
> > > >#4. If you are a male driver, never let a
> female driver pass you. A
> > real
> > > > man can't put up with that kind of nonsense.
> > > >
> > > >#5. Don't make left turns. The driver behind
> you will try to pass on
> > > > your left while you are doing it, because God
> forbid he should have
> > > >to slow
> > > > down or stop while you make your turn. Pull
> over to the right and
> > > >wait
> > > > until the road is clear for five miles in
> either direction before
> > > >you turn; OR,
> > > > get into the wrong lane half a mile before
> your turn and make your
> > > >left from there.
> > > >
> > > >#6. If the driver ahead of you is making a left
> turn, ram him.
> > > >
> > > >#7. If you are coming out of a driveway or
> sidestreet, and the only
> > > > vehicle coming is a motorbike,pull out in
> front of him. In a
> > > >collision between a
> > > > car and a motorbike, the motorbike is going to
> lose, so obviously
> > > >it's up to him to stop.
> > > >
> > > >#8. Ignore traffic lights. They're only there
> to impress the tourists.
> > > >
> > > >#9. If you are in a traffic jam, and you see an
> open lane which might
> > > > possibly be used to unsnarl the mess, block it
> as quickly as
> > > >possible.
> > > > And don't forget that horn.
> > > >
> > > >#10. If the vehicle in front of you is passing
> a vehicle in front of
> > him,
> > > > pass them both so that you have three vehicles
> side by side in a
> > > >line
> > > > across the highway, going in the same
> direction. If you're a publico
> > > >driver,
> > > > this is a great way to scare the hell out of
> any tourists in your
> > > >car.
> > > >
> > > >#11. When driving at night keep your highbeams
> on all the time. If
> > > > drivers of oncoming cars find them too bright,
> well, that's what
> > > >sunglasses are for.
> > > >
> > > >#12. Seatbelts are silly gringo decorations.
> > > >
> > > >#13. If you see that the car you are overtaking
> is being driven by
> > > >someone
> > > > you know, stay alongside him for a few miles
> so you can have a chat.
> > > >
> > > >#14. Indicator lights are there to warn other
> drivers of what you
> > intend
> > > >to do,
> > > > but since every other driver on the road is an
> enemy, why should you
> > > > give them any warnings?
> > > >
> > > >#15. When you park your car, remember that NO
PARKING signs do not
apply
to you personally.
Of course, given the number of motorcycles on
the road here, there
are
some special rules for them, too.
#1. When driving along that stretch of highway
which runs through
Cabarete,
go at your flat out, top speed. It's your
right to endanger yourself
and
the community; and besides, people love to
hear the noise your
engine
makes when you have the throttle wide open -
day or night.
#2. If you see a traffic jam up ahead, just use
the sidewalks. If you
should run down a pedestrian, it's his fault
for not jumping out of
the way
quickly enough.
#3. When you park your motorbike, leave it in a
place where it will
cause
the greatest inconvenience; the road, the
entrance to a driveway,
the
doorway of a store, etc.
#4. Hang your helmet on your handlebar so if
you have an accident,
people
will have something to scrape your brains into
after they've been
splattered all over the road.
#5. It is not necessary to repair broken
drivers should be able to see you in their
highbeams, and they
generally
drive as if you're not there anyhow. Oh yes; a driver's license is nice, but who
really needs one?