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Stories: A Kidney and a Second Chance
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| A KIDNEY AND A SECOND CHANCE
By Blake Adams
On a Friday in the Fall of 1994, my family got a lesson in how quickly life can change. That was the day our son, Joseph, was diagnosed with nephritis (kidney failure) and hospitalized in Portland, Oregon. A rare disease that struck out of the blue turned the healthy 8 year-old boy I baptized into a 9 year-old dependent on a dialysis machine to survive.
After spending a few weeks in the hospital, Joseph came home, where his new best friend—a dialysis machine—was waiting. A typical treatment lasted 12-14 hours a day, every day. To help my wife administer his treatment at home, I had to learn how to operate the machine. Not being mechanically inclined, I had reason to doubt I could really do this. In the end, we all did what we had to do, and I learned skills that eventually became second nature. That taught me something that may have value to investigators wondering if they can handle all that is required of church members. When the stakes were high, and the demands and rewards were beyond what I experienced before, it turned out I could do more than I thought.
A kidney transplant, though not a cure, was the treatment option that offered Joseph his best hope for renewed health. I knew early on that I wanted to be the donor. When it came time for be tested, my wife and I both were found to be a match, and given the choice of who would proceed with additional testing as the prospective donor. Given our situation it made more sense for me to do it. Joseph and I were both approved for the surgery, and a transplant was scheduled.
At age 10 ½, Joseph was a thin and gaunt child whose failed kidneys had caused him to stop growing. He had been on dialysis for a year and a half. Given the Lord’s promise that “after much tribulation come the blessings,” (D&C 58:4), it was easy to think we had experienced our share of “much tribulation,” and now it was time for the blessings that come with a transplant. It turned out to be not quite that simple.
Both donor and recipient had to be healthy enough to undergo the operation. Not long before the first surgery date, Joseph and I both got minor infections, and he could not get rid of his in time. The second time around, Joseph got sick again, and the transplant was canceled and rescheduled again. The third time, we got close. I left work on a Friday afternoon feeling good about our chances the transplant would happen on Monday. On Saturday, Joseph was not feeling well and complained of stomach pain. My wife suspected peritonitis, a potentially serious infection. I connected Joseph to his dialysis machine and, within a few minutes, saw the evidence for myself. With our hospital admission less than 24 hours away, the transplant was cancelled for the third straight time. We fell short again, and I was heartsick. I felt like I went to bat for my child and struck out.
At the time, it was too much for me to believe that these disappointing delays could be a blessing in disguise. I was a planner by nature; the constant change and need to reschedule drove me nuts. But a more important challenge was my need to accept the possibility that this story might not have the happy ending I desired. I wanted so much for this to work out, not only for Joseph to receive a kidney but to get one of mine. Now I was faced with two alternatives: I could accept what was beyond my control, or become insane. (I can appreciate that some of my loved ones may be unsure which one I chose). I began a process of letting go, which was not the same as giving up, and it put me on the path to finding peace. In the long run, the lesson that came out of all these growing pains helped me see that the desire to serve and sacrifice is good, but must be combined with a willingness to submit to God’s will. A willingness to serve is more important than a determination to serve in a particular way.
The transplant did not happen until I came to terms with the idea that it might not. On our fourth try to reach the operating table, Joseph was a month shy of his 11th birthday when we checked into the hospital on September 8, 1996. There was still a chance a doctor would find a reason to send us home, but after all this time the right time had finally arrived. The next day, my left kidney was removed and placed inside my son’s body. The operation was a success. Joseph started growing again, and has not known a day of dialysis since.
From the day an unexpected diagnosis turned our lives upside down to the day an organ transplant renewed a boy’s lease on life, 22 months passed, roughly the same amount of time I was a missionary in Costa Rica and Panama. Through the grace of God, both missions were completed.
One of my biggest rewards for being a part of this surgery came 7 years later. It was September again, this time in 2003, when Joseph returned to the hospital. This time he was a visitor, a picture of health, nearly 18 years old and standing around six feet tall. To finish his Eagle Scout project, Joseph brought games, books, videos, and other items to benefit children on dialysis. Knowing what it was like to be connected to a machine for hours at a time, Joseph was the right person for such a project, bearing gifts to help keep children entertained during treatment. He also gave individual time and attention to three patients, children he had never met before. One of them, a girl his age, perked up once she learned the road he had traveled, and he helped ease her fears as she looked ahead to the prospect of her own transplant.
For all the change that a physical illness brought into our lives, an important part of the story was how much did not change. The Lord was in charge and knew what he was doing, just as he always had. Principles I believed in before were as true now as they ever were. And while I could not predict every adversity that comes along, one truth remained constant. I could choose to learn from it. |
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| LDS QUOTE: |
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"You are a great army of returned missionaries. Go forward with new zeal and determination, and through your example shine the light of the gospel in this troubled world. This is the Lord's work in which we are engaged. God lives. Jesus is the Christ. We belong to His Church. This is my witness to you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."
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